I just had four days off from work. And I spent them at home. Probably not the best thing for a writer with wicked bad writer’s block. Here’s some of the I’ll-do-anything-to-avoid-actually-writing procrastination that happened. I’m quite proud of myself. I reached new highs in work avoidance. Or new lows.

I watched approximately 36 hours of HGTV. Every show featured at least one commercial for an online dating site during each and every commercial break. This has led me to reach the following conclusions. #1: I want to find the people behind eHarmony, Match, and Farmer’s Only and punch them solely because their commercials irritate me. #2: I only think about trying online dating (for the 5th time) during the holidays. In fact, I only think about finding Mr. Eh, You’ll Do and getting married during the holidays. Conclusion: I really don’t want to get married, I only want someone to hang out with when I’m off work for a few days. I probably should just get another dog.

Yup. I need more dogs. I should just clone this sweet boy.

I also watched a lot of Hallmark movies. I’m thinking of writing the Hallmark company a letter praising them for their lovely movies that are free from violence, profanity, etc. I’m also thinking of writing them a letter yelling at them for their excessively long commercial breaks. Without them a two hour movie would be like an hour, fifteen minutes. That’s too many dang commercials. If I can make lunch, go check on my horses, hike out to the mailbox, hang up a load of laundry, and still be back on the couch before the movie comes back on you’re showing too many ads.

I started and finished two craft projects with the assistance of my cat. Everything I made has a large helping of cat hair embedded into it.

Pictured: The least helpful crafting assistant ever. Also, a chair thief.

I slept a lot. And had really strange dreams. I had one that featured me joyfully packing up my office and leaving my job for places unknown. I started thinking that I was having prophetic dreams when I had a second one about landing my dream job editing books at a publishing company. Then I had a third dream about the TV show Gilmore Girls being rebooted with the original cast, the story picking up ten years after the final episode. I then decided that I was just having strange dreams because there is no way all three of those things are going to come true.

I ignored my treadmill and instead ate cheesecake, chips and dip, and other non-health foods. We’re not going to talk about weight gained. Let’s just say that I’m going to switch this around to ignoring junk food and running on the treadmill.

After doing all of that (and more) I did sit down to my novel in progress. And wrote about five paragraphs. And decided to trash most of one whole chapter. So much for my write-like-crazy plan.

I have another four days off coming this week for New Years.

Fingers crossed that this time it will be four days filled with writing.

And possibly some more HGTV.