Another of my imaginary conversations with God.

Me: I’ve been wanting to ask you something Big Guy.

God: Go ahead. (Looks over at me suspiciously.)

Me: What’s up with the terrible weather in the Texas Panhandle?

God: What do you mean terrible?

Me: Well for one, it is always windy. 9 days out of 10 there is a 15 to 20 mph wind to contend with.

God: Ah…yeah…well…um. It’s always windy in the Texas Panhandle because New Mexico sucks and Oklahoma blows.

Me: Ha. Ha. I’ve made that joke myself about a thousand times.

God: Fine. It’s because of the geological….

Me: Bah. I’ve heard that stupid scientific explanation my whole life. It’s always windy. Either extremely hot or extremely cold. It hardly ever rains or snows. The dust storms are terrible. The grass fires are devastating. There are random plagues of moths or grasshoppers or other bugs. There was even one of tiny toads once. What’s up with all that crap?

God: Yeah…umm. No clue really.

Me: You did make it, shouldn’t you know?

God: Well I got the rest of the state sorted out really well.

Me: True. Did you just get bored and never sort out the Panhandle.

A dust storm as seen from my back porch. There’s a barn and horses out there somewhere.

God: Honestly I have no idea. I sort of let it go. I didn’t expect you humans to settle up there in such numbers. It’s an awful mess up there.

Me: That was a really stupid plan.

God: Oh shut-up.